He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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