i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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