I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
