I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
