I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
