I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
