Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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