plz talk dirty to me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
