just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
