I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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