How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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