Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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