So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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