I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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