8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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