Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
