Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
