Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think my moral compass just broke
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