i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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