Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
