It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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