I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize