So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
