its not stalking. its research.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize