Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
