I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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