I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
