he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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