your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
