we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think people are normalizing furries
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
