Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
