He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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