youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize