So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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