First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize