lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
