Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
People in love make me want to vomit
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
