i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
