it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
