ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
