You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize