It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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