What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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