it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
