You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
