I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
