I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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