My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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