I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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