ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
