I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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