I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just pee around me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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