I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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