Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
40s are totally the cure
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
