happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
