my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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