Don't make out with my wife yet
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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