Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
