I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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