dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
