She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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