Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
