We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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