im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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