if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
