Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
