I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
