just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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