I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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