He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
