I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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