out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
