It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
